How Motherhood Can Steal Your Joy (And How to Take It Back)

Hi Subscriber First Name

On Monday night, I met two wonderful girlfriends I used to share a damp, drafty flat with in North London. Life has changed since those single days. Two of us have small children and one moved away so it's a rare treat to have a smart dinner together.

We were talking about New Year's resolutions and the idea of having a word of the year rather than specific resolutions. This is something I've done for several years now. This year mine is: joy.

I admitted that since I've become a mum, I've been on autopilot, stretched too thin to truly enjoy much of anything. When you are in survival mama mode it's a luxury you can't afford or feel guilty for indulging in.

So, this year, I made a change. Now, I start every week with something just for me - an awesome dance class.

Dancing into the week

At 9:00am on Monday, I was sweating through a Canada Goose coat, charging up the road pushing my 75kg pram, whilst the MacBook in my backpack whacked against my lower spine desperate to get to pre-school on time. I was a woman on a mission and, no, I was not getting out of anyone's way. I can't, anyhow - not with the stopping distance of that pram at speed.

But at 9:25 a.m. I was in the dance studio - laughing at the "baggy trousers" moves the teacher had us doing to Back Street's Back. Then getting myself in the red cardio zone, properly raving to some drum and bass.

In those moments, I felt like me. I'd forgotten the tantrums of the morning. I was not thinking about the porridge splattered up the walls waiting for me at home, or any of the mental load. I felt joy. Just for me. What a treat.

And here’s what I’ve learned: You don’t need hours or grand gestures to bring joy into your life. Sometimes, just 10 minutes is enough to make all the difference. Let's face it, sometimes that's all we can spare.

What Is Joy, Really?

Joy is finding micro-moments to make your soul smile.

For me, it’s that dance class or taking my dog for a run accompanied by some old-school bangers. It’s those little things that remind me who I am beyond being a mum. Things I loved before I was a mum that got dropped somewhere along the line.

How to Prioritise Joy in Your Day (FMG Style)

Find Joy - Identify something that lights you up. I'm not judging. You don't need to justify it. If you're up for it, share it in our Facebook group.
Make Time - Put something in the diary this week. No excuses. The earlier in the day the better. And do it.
Give Yourself Credit - Celebrate the fact you made it happen and in doing so are are teaching your family that everyone's happiness matters.

Still not convinced? You’ll have more energy, patience, and presence for your family. So ditch the guilt and do it.

Much love 🙏🏽

Leila (and the triplets) xxx

P.s pic is of me, the choreographer and my mum’s elderly dance crew - The Dafia aka The Dance Mafia. And yes she can keep up in the drum and bass section.