What’s not asking for help costing you?

Hi Subscriber First Name

How good are you at asking for help?

Historically, I’m terrible at it. I’m fiercely independent, a trait I now see coming out in my triplets. Even before they could hold a spoon, they were adamant they’d rather get it all over the floor than deign to accept my help.

Today I did two things that really don’t come naturally to me.

Admit defeat
Ask for help

This afternoon I was really struggling. I’ve been ill for nearly a week now. Probably sinusitis, but mums can’t afford to get ill, can they?

You really need to be on your A-game to keep on top of mischievous triplets. I wasn’t. Every room in the house was trashed. We’d had a few near misses with accidents a whisker from happening because I haven’t been as sharp as usual.

I put the boys in the playroom, had a mental reset and thought “What’s actually going to help right now?”. There were chores that needed doing everywhere I looked but what was really going to shift the needle: admitting I needed help.

I texted James and said we might need the emergency childcare his work provides tomorrow. I’ve never done this before. I didn’t feel comfortable but I had to ask for help because quite frankly I’m not well enough to do 12 hours of triplet care on my own tomorrow. It’s not fair on them. He replied pretty much straight away: “All sorted, can you ring the nanny just to confirm.”

What? I couldn’t believe how easy that was. Think of all the other times I was unwell and could have reached out to this service for help rather than soldiering on like a run-down martyr. Lesson learned.

Expectations on mums are huge. Society will tell us we “should” be able to do it all 24/7 without ever showing signs of cracking. When we see those teensy cracks begin to form, we dismiss them. Until our body sends us louder reminders that we need to look after ourselves. Even then, we feel guilty for needing to ask for help because that’s admitting we’re human and have our limits.

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Who can you give the gift of serotonin to?

“Let others help you”, is one of the 3 choices I’ll share in our festive event: Have Yourself A Mum Guilt Free Christmas. Dec 3rd 7:30pm. Grab your FREE ticket here.

We can’t do this amount of organising, inviting, shopping, cooking and booking on our own. It’s not healthy.

Don’t be a Christmas martyr. Think about who could help. Often people are more than willing to be useful, plus they get a neurochemical bonus of serotonin from knowing they’ve lightened your load.

Think of one person you could ask to help you with one thing this Christmas. Then go and ask. Share your wins in the Facebook group.

Get your FREE ticket here!

Much love 🙏🏽

Leila (and the triplets) xxx

Ps. Photo is of us on our millionth snack stop of our Canterbury minibreak