The antidote to overwhelm is…

Hi Subscriber First Name

Today would have been my first child’s 4th birthday.

I should be writing you an email all about our Christmas special next Tuesday, but I can’t think of anything but her.

I was so unprepared for her loss. I didn’t even know what a missed miscarriage was. It hit me so hard, I was winded for months. It was like I couldn’t breath or stand up and my screams were so wild they were silent.

To carry on living after that took a phenomenal amount of courage. To keep believing that my baby would come to me when the time was right, even when I lost my second, took what I call “fierce faith”. Faith is easy when life is good but faith when you are tested to your limit as a mother, that’s a whole other matter. Faith in yourself, faith in your babies, faith in the Universe. You question it all.

When I got home from the hospital after losing my second baby, I played gospel songs back to back. I never listen to gospel, but I was desperately searching for an answer. I needed to know how people kept believing when life was so merciless. I didn’t find the answer, but putting one foot in front of the other, a lot of therapy and healing eventually took me to my triplets.

The overwhelm antidote

I read something by Brené Brown last week that said that the antidote to overwhelm is “nothingness” a mindfulness concept I’d learned at the Buddhist centre years ago.

Yet when mums feel overwhelm creeping in, and the cracks starting to form, we are more likely to get busier and pretend we’re “fine” than stop.

Although I knew I was overwhelmed since the weekend, I had tried to combat it with more doing. It was only when I sat down in silence with a coffee today that I clocked the date and suddenly it made sense why I’ve been struggling.

As we hit peak overwhelm in December, it’s more important than ever to schedule some “nothingness” in the calendar, some evenings where nobody needs you to be or do anything, where you don’t have to smile or look sparkly.

Some time that is just 100% for you. 100% mum-guilt free.

And, of course, come along to the only Christmas party in town where you don’t have to look pretty and pretend you’re “fine”.

Rock up as you are next Tuesday 7:30pm. We want to connect with the real you. Whatever you’re going through, however you’re feeling, come and meet the mums who’ve got your back.

Much love 🙏🏽

Leila (and the triplets) xxx

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